Ashes
by Archica
Summary: Compilcated to describe, but it's a VERY depressing fic about Heero and Relena.


Ashes _

Ashes

_  


Author's Notes: This is a stupid little one shot. Warning: Will be depressing, sad, and don't expect a happy ending. I'm not good at those anyway. ^^ Basically, I'm depressed and that's when I write my best so I figured I should write something. Oh, and expect more "Cemetery Roses" to show up soon! Enjoy! 

Beauty, Wealth, and Even Love   
Fade Like the Setting of the Sun   
And When All You Have   
Is Stripped Away,   
All That Remains   
Is Simple Faith 

She stood at the edge of the cliff, a place she'd stood many times before. It was less frightening now, less intimidating. She was more comfortable with the edge of the rocks being inches away from her feet. She felt soothed by the crisp, cold winds crashing against her back. For this important task, she had mastered danger and now viewed it as her friend. 

She clutched the object in her hands, feeling it's smooth coldness. She lowered herself to her knees and smiled as she released the object over the ocean, allowing its contents to scatter across the sea like the drifting petals of the cherry blossoms. 

Days before, she never would have imagined that she would be the star of such an eerie scene. All was well and her life was strangely simple at this point. Heero had actually began to warm up to her, and she couldn't have asked for anything more. 

Heero's cold exterior was slowly cracking under her prodding. She had sensed it for some time now. She simply had to go through a series of events. She would be clingy and naive on moment, then icey and distant the next. Then she would switch to being the understanding yet allowing young woman. Switching methods enough to keep Heero on his toes had proved effective. He had fallen into her arms, even if he himself hadn't realized it. 

On the beach, the night her world fell apart, Heero had finally come clean with her. He was walking about a foot ahead of her, careful not to leave her behind but also careful not to walk close enough to appear as a couple. He had stopped when he realized she wasn't walking anymore. She was only standing there, staring at the black waves under the pale, yellow moon. 

He watched her for a moment, studying the almost emotionless look on her prim face. "Haven't you ever wanted," she began, her voice frighteningly cold, "to just walk into those waves?" 

"What do you mean?" he asked casually. 

Her eyes never left the sea. "I would like... to just start walking into the waves and keep walking until I'm completely swallowed. And I would vanish from existence, as if I were never here to begin with." 

Heero looked back toward the sea. "I never knew you were suicidal." he said offhandedly. 

She finally faced him and smiled. "I'm not. I just sometimes have thoughts like this. That's all." 

"Oh." He stood calmly with his hands in his pockets, watching the ocean and imagining the act she had described. After a few minutes of thinking, he came to the conclusion that it wouldn't be a very good idea. 

Relena started walking again and effectively passed him up. "Let's go," she said, less demanding as it was pleading. 

He soon followed, walking close behind. He thought he understood why she had shared that particular idea with him. Relena was someone who was always viewed as a happy, optimistic person. She wore a mask of cheerfulness, and no one even realized it was a mask at all. She was an important person, was wealthy, beautiful, and respected. Why shouldn't she be happy? Even Heero hadn't realized there was another side to her. So the words she had spoken earlier, seemingly random thoughts, were in actuality her own way of showing him a peek at that other side. He supposed she had her own sorrows, her own problems to deal with. 

Relena smiled as she walked on, sensing Heero close behind her. If she could just let one person in the world know that she wasn't the perky little girl who always wore a smile that everyone thought she was, it would be Heero. And in her heart, she knew he had understood what she meant. 

Heero came up closer behind her and put a hand on her shoulder. "Why don't we do it?" he asked. 

She blinked. "Do what?" 

"Walk into the waves." 

Relena laughed breezily. "I was kidding, Heero." 

Heero just shrugged. "Oh well. It was an idea." 

"You really don't care about your own life, do you?" 

"Not really. You don't either." 

She grinned. "Then it seems we have something in common." 

"We could kill each other. We could shoot each other at the same exact moment, die by each other's hands." 

Relena thought about it for a moment. "No, too melodramatic. We could drink poison." 

"Too slow. Jump off a cliff?" 

Relena wrinkled her nose. "I'd kind of prefer my body to look decent at the funeral, instead of being splattered across the rocks." 

"I don't want a funeral." Heero said abruptly. "It would be pointless. You, Duo, and Quatre would be the only ones there, and I never liked the idea of being burried. I want to be creamated." 

"Really? That's interesting. Where do you want your ashes thrown?" 

He sat down on the sand. "I never really thought about it. They could be flushed down a toilet for all I care." 

Relena giggled. "Come on. Don't you want them thrown over a special lake or river?" 

"If I absolutely had to choose... I guess I'd want them thrown over the sea." 

"That's nice." she said, leaning her head on his shoulder and watching the waves once again. 

"What were we talking about again?" he asked. 

"Our planned double suicide. Or homicide." 

"Which sounds better. Suicide or homicide?" 

Relena smiled. "Homicide. It'd look better in the papers." 

They both laughed dryly, watching the sea together. After endless minutes, Relena fell asleep against his chest. It was hours before she awoke, laying across the sand with the waves dangerously close to her face. She raised up and got to her feet. 

She scanned the deserted beach, looking for Heero. She sighed. He probably went on home. That was just like him, to leave her alone on the beach. She began walking back the way they had came, where her car was parked. 

Soon an object came into view. There was something on the beach. Had something washed up? When she was near enough, to her horror, she realized it was Heero laying sprawled out on the sand. 

She rushed forward. "Heero! What happened?!" 

He tried to cough, but only water came out of his mouth. "Sorry, Relena..." he said weakly, wather splattering from his mouth, "all that planning... and I did something as simple... as walk into the sea." 

"Oh, Heero... I told you I was kidding..." she whispered, cradleing his body in her arms. 

"I know... I knew what you were trying... to tell me. I'm just sorry... that I left you alone..." That said, he went limp in her arms. 

Relena sat there, sobbing and holding him, and as badly as she wanted to deny it, she knew this was coming. Heero had always been this way, and he would never ever change. 

Now, days later, as Heero's ashes fly across the sea, Relena sits on her knees on the cliff, watching the same waves that took her lover's life but had refused to take her own. Relena realized, later that day, that Heero had carried her down closer to the waves, and had left her where they could easily capture her, dragging her into their depths. But they had rejected her. 

And so she sat, watching the very air around her, and began coming up with a new method, a new plan to end her life. 

var yviContents='http://us.toto.geo.yahoo.com/toto?s=76001089 yviR='us';yfiEA(0); geovisit();


End file.
